do you believe she said that?

fuck off.

2007-06-06T20:39:26Z

next year.

2007-06-05T20:08:02Z

i was on a high before i came home

2007-06-04T01:33:02Z

don't forget about me

2007-05-28T18:45:00Z

i put this sign up. and now i dont know what im doing.

2007-05-26T23:51:10Z

themadcap_lives @ 2007-05-25T16:06:00

2007-05-25T20:07:47Z

btw pirates III is the sexiest thing. evar.

i have been su happy recently. its nice~

themadcap_lives @ 2007-05-17T21:38:00

2007-05-18T01:39:18Z

i just want some fearless touch.
why am i being condemmed?

themadcap_lives @ 2007-05-16T15:50:00

2007-05-16T19:51:01Z

i rather NOT die
;0;tornadooo

FUCKK

2007-05-09T23:12:01Z

i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again UGHHHHHHHH!!! i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again i'm doing it again

themadcap_lives @ 2007-05-08T16:36:00

2007-05-08T20:36:26Z

everytime i hear a dog yelp
a lil' bit of my soul dies

UGHHHHHKADSJFKL;SDFJ

2007-04-30T20:16:28Z

i.need.cunt

in other news

2007-04-24T23:41:37Z

it feels nice to find a large amount of respect come back for someone you have passion for.

themadcap_lives @ 2007-04-24T15:55:00

2007-04-24T19:58:09Z

your romantic rights are all that you got
push them down son it's more than just lip
c'mon girls I know you know what you want
c'mon, c'mon now and give them all shhhhh
you're beating walls now you just won't quit
you play with shapes but they just won't fit
i know you love me you don't know what you like
you're watching tv, i stay up all night

i don't need you.
i want you.

themadcap_lives @ 2007-04-19T19:20:00

2007-04-19T23:20:48Z

al;kdfjl;adsfjlkd;askjlda;s.
i want someone to hold me D;

themadcap_lives @ 2007-04-17T17:06:00

2007-04-17T21:14:08Z

busy.busy spring break~

mellowed out friday, went to visit central college on satuday & then went to farahs, went to the mall on sunday with some cool kids, went to visit Keene college on yesterday, doing a project today & then going to play some laser tag, going to New York for some community service tomorrow, going to visit some colleges next friday&saturday

blarrrrrrrrgh. I'm just annoyed 'cause I can't go to Anime Boston. I wanted to see Kyle! Subad. I won't get the chance to see her anymore. Neko does not want her up and even if she did.. well I can't see Neko anyway. So, Anime Boston is like the only way I can see Kyle. D;. I miss that crazy kiddddd.
If I was able I would drive to her once a year or something.
If I was tight with Lucas I would ask him to come along.

Hmm. I need to do this project.... x0x.
And then watch me some Slayerssssss.
Idunno. I just feel the need to type up something good. There have been some lows in the past few days that are not worth mentioning to the public but its been pretty good.

Yes.

themadcap_lives @ 2007-04-13T20:47:00

2007-04-14T00:50:32Z

ummmm. whats the news.
i want to spend more time with matt. and people in general, but especially him.
i have no reason to even be mildy bitter at him anymore.
he makes me feel ugly, even though he does nothing. of all things he does things that should boost up my self-image.
but, idunno.

i need to stop being such a fat ass.
anddddd. yeah.
maybe ill just get a knife and cut all the fat away. lol.

or whatever.

*sigh*~maybe i should just be honest and do whatever i want to do.
practice hedonism in its best.

themadcap_lives @ 2007-04-02T19:32:00

2007-04-02T23:33:53Z

i fantasize about you killing me, obsessively.

beep. i saw you todayyyyy, and you were so happy.
it brightened up my whole dayyy. im still happy. a lil' jeaulse but meh.
beep.

im working on this girl.
well, in pretend. im afraid to talk to her.

beep.

themadcap_lives @ 2007-03-26T20:07:00

2007-03-27T00:08:19Z

but why?
why didnt you touch me?

themadcap_lives @ 2007-03-25T22:04:00

2007-03-26T02:29:48Z

ummm. laksfjkadsl;ajfsd;fadjksld.
D: luuuucas.

i saw grease on friday. D: you were amazingggggggg.
im so proud of you. lak;fjad;fjlas;

i just wish i can express it.

i confronted juu this weekend too. her&i have different ideas of the term 'lying' but whatever. definitions dont matter, it all doesnt matter. its over.

blahhhh. well, lucas must be really happy right now.
that is what matters. yupyupyup.

ilove him so much. blahhh.
like, idunno. i just dont know how to express this amount of passion. i have been working on it and every here and there when inspired ill jot a journal entry in a notepad or something trying to accomplish this expression.

imsoboreddddd. i wish matt's cell would stop being dumb.
'cause i have no one to talk tooo.

beep. i hope lucas knows that im there for him if he is ever alone. it has been seven months though.
i have decided that at the nine month point i can no longer say that i know&understand him. that i even love him.
at that point all i would love is the memory of him
because he could of changed so much.
he prob didn't and won't, but i really have no way to know.

well. actually. thats prob not tru. i dont ask for it, i dont even talk about lucas a lot/to that many people anymore. y'know, im in a pit with him and there is nothing new to say. so i dont.
but, a lot of people mention him to me. like, all the time.
D: i accidental still know a lot of things that are going on with him. i mean, not everything. im out of the loop. but a lot more then i prob should.
D: i dont mean to be creepy! it just happens.

i kind of like it though. :/
i loveeeeee seeing him in the hallways and hearing him and stuff. i just like to reminded that he exists. i have such a intense idea of who is and how amazing he is that sometimes im like 'but... how can a person be like this? maybe.. this isnt true... maybe its all a delusion'
but then i see him
or hear like one line of a conversation ((D; i try very hard not to listen but sometimes he is like right next to me on the bus or something)) and im like 'wow'
just wow

just alkfdjd;asjflk;asdjfa;fjas;jkfsl;fjk
ughhh. D:

this is so stupid.
why don't you like me? 'cause im selfdestructive/depressed/negative/&quiet?
thats kind of the things that you were expressing over the summer, so i guess thats it.
except a lot of the people you are with now have pretty much identical characteristics

like, i love neko. i really do. but wtf. you and her are supertight now
how is she less selfdestructive then me?
honestly. like, to be honest, she is one of the most conscious selfdestructive character that i can even imagine.
yet, somehow you are able to cope with that with her and maintain a friendship with her. just ugh.

and for negative people? lol, your friends with jess?
lol.

though this isnt respectful. D: i dont mean to bash all your friends or something.
i mean im just so superjeaulus that they have something that i would exchange organs for.
and lakfdja; they dont even appreciate it.

idunno.
blarrrgh.

right now my sexuality is so fucked up. i started a new secret blog where i post stories about it.
anyway, i dont find much things erotic.

but you. i want you to abuse my body so bad. just grab a whip and give me all your aggression. which is really selfish because your more of the submissive type but with our friendship i thought i was more submissive then you were. i think that kind of fucked you up though.
im sorry for that.
i should of been more what you wanted. well, i tried.
i used juu as my goal, to be honest.

just.
la;fkj;fsdjka i know im being repetive.
but thats what my life has become.

this loney cycle that will not die.
i dont want it too.
i dont ever want to stop loving you.
you define me.

im cliche, i guess.

im just confused.

themadcap_lives @ 2007-03-22T22:31:00

2007-03-23T02:33:11Z

What I've been journaling about!

Create your own! By ga_woo using Web Services by Yahoo!

.i wish that people would stop lying to me
.i need to get some paint
.i dont hate men anymore. im working on a mind fuck that is going to destroy all nonbiolical thoughts about gender from my mind, for lulz.
.the women prefrence still stands, though.
.&i wish that people would stop lying to me.

themadcap_lives @ 2007-03-08T21:30:00

2007-03-09T02:30:26Z

How much do you know about 60's music?

you are a 60's buff! go you!
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themadcap_lives @ 2007-02-28T21:37:00

2007-03-01T02:38:51Z

UGH. I HATE PEOPLE.
i hate how they cant control their sexualities.
i hate how fucking moronic they can be.
i hate how they are greedy.
i hate how they feel the need to hide everything.
i hate how weak everyone is.
everyone.

ugh, just jump off a cliff

themadcap_lives @ 2007-02-26T11:10:00

2007-02-26T16:12:00Z

your faith was strong but you needed proof, you saw her bathing on the roof. her beauty and the moonlight overthrew her. she tied you to a kitchen chair. she broke your throne and she cut your hair. and from your lips she drew the Hallelujah.

take a cha-cha-cha-chance

2007-02-14T19:33:47Z

happy birthday.

if i trust in you oh please don't run and hide

2006-12-28T05:18:26Z

this is my mind right about now:
afd ldjkal;jdksla;fjdsakl; fewaoirur weaioruawfdjfl;ds fjkdl;fjd;la

Babbelfish won't translate so I guess I'll just sit here and depict it myself.
But what do I know?
I am only what I am told to be.